Going down alone

I went down alone

Like a leaf falling from a tree

I felt like i didn't really have the support

That i needed

But i couldn't really blame my family

For being upset

During that time

Everyone would just tell me

You are wrong

Not telling me how to improve

Not telling me what to do better

Only telling me what i could've done

It was like a horse being brought to water

I was the horse

They were bringing me to the water

Not telling me how to drink it

But It didn't matter anymore

It had already happened

But now

I can do something

That i felt i couldn't do then

I learned to control my anger

To watch what i say when i'm upset

When i'm upset i'm like the crackle nail polish

You put a layer of problems on me

I try to keep it in

Then you add another layer of issues

Then everything comes out and i crack

I've learned to think in the moment

To take 3 deep breathes

Distract myself from whats making me upset

So that i can stop myself  

From creating a bigger problem

From thinking what if